Good Hummer, Bad Hummer

So there I am driving down the street and a bad Hummer goes by. For some reason over the past two weeks, I keep seeing more bad Hummers than usual. There must be a sale or something. Now, you ask, "What is a bad Hummer? Are there really any good Hummers?" Well, everyone has seen the bad Hummer as, pictured here:


Some dork (I'll call him "Bob") has purchased this big, pretty truck so he can impress his silly friends. Does Bob carry around the 15 people it can hold? No. Bob uses it to drive the dog around. Does Bob take it off road? No. Bob's silly wife uses it to go to the grocery store. The website Fuck You and Your H2 has a bunch more about bad Hummers.

Now, being a fan of off-road machines (totally eclipsed by my husband's 4x4 fanaticism), I can appreciate owning a good Hummer. A good Hummer being one that barely sees the pavement and can do all sorts of fun stuff, like those below.

I don't even want to ask Phyllis and Darrel whether they consider theirs a good Hummer or bad Hummer. Guessing by the tires, it's probably good.

My point: Don't buy a Hummer if you're not going to use it off-road! And to the folks who build them... Don't sell Hummers to fools who won't take them off-road!