Anyway, in honor of all those babies, I finally decided to post my Top 10 Reasons Not to Have Kids. Now, I know that people mean well, but when I tell them that I don't want kids EVER, some get that sad look of disbelief and tell me that it's different when you have your own kids. My usual response, "what if it's not different and I lock the kid in a closet because he/she is driving me crazy; will you be there to help?" That usually ends the conversation.
So I think I'll just make a business card with a link to this list on it and hand it to people when they ask me, "Why don't you want to have kids; you seem to like them?"
- They suck the life out of you.
- Can't drink for 9 months. (Plus more, if I breast feed)
- You're on the hook for at least 18 years.
- You can't just leave them at home with food when you go on vacation.
- They bleed.
- They vomit.
- They shit.
- They break your stuff.
- They are very expensive.
- All the body changes and pain that go with pregnancy and giving birth. (The next time a GUY asks me why I don't want kids, I'm gonna sock him!)
- They can have you committed when you get old.
- You'll have to take them to the hospital for something terrible.
6 comments:
Sort of reminds me of an OLD joke.
A guy asks his neighbor if he could borrow his lawn mower. The neighbor says "No - my mother-in-law is coming to dinner." First guy asks what that has to do with borrowing the lawn mower. Neighbor says "Nothing. But one excuse is as good as another when you don't want to do something."
While I can't imagine life without my children, I think it's incredibly wrong for someone who is convinced that they don't want children to have them anyway on the chance that it will be different "when you have you own kids." When you say that you don't want kids, that's all the reason in the world for not having them.
I can't believe someone really told you, "Well it's different when you have your own kids". Who else's kids would you be having?! I bet if you already had one kid, that person would say, "Well it's easier when you have two...they can keep each other company". Actually, I think they say that about dogs, but it probably applies to kids too. Why do people go all coo-coo nutsy over the baby thing?! Don't worry Rosanna...I'll never encourage you to have kids. Especially not with Mike!!!
>:-D
(just kidding Mike)
Yes, I've actually had people say that to me a lot. I don't think they pressure men as much, but women are supposed to be all maternal.
You don't need kids. You have Mike.
You should have 4 kids. They are soooo worth it.
I should know, Ha ha ha!!!!!!
Uh . . . So this means Brian and I can't have you babysit while we go on a vacation to Cabo, right?
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