I Think She's Retarded

So I went to Vons to get some fish. There was only one girl working the meat counter and about 3 people besides me waiting. So I went to get some other groceries and returned to find only 1 person in front of me. Now, this next thing she said to the other customer should have been my first cue to walk away. "I can't cut those, the guy who does that isn't here right now." However, I figured maybe she doesn't know how to cut steaks or something, but slicing off a piece of a big fish fillet is no big deal. So she finally gets to me and I ask her for 1/4 pound of salmon and 1/4 pound of halibut.

"OK, how much of the salmon do you want?"

I repeat myself and then wait while she cuts the fish behind the counter where I cannot see her. She comes back and tosses over a pound of salmon onto the scale and asks if that's good. I say, "No, I only want a 1/4 of a pound." So she disappears again and few more people come up to wait at the counter. She comes back again and this time the salmon weighs about half a pound.

"That's OK, right?"

I say fine and move onto the halibut. "Now I need 1/4 of a pound of halibut." She does her disappearing act and returns with way too much halibut, I don't need to see it on the scale. It's about a pound and a half.

"Is this OK?"

"No, I only need 1/4 of a pound."

She looks at me like I'm speaking a foreign language. She has two fillets on the scale and takes one off and asks if that's OK. The remaining fillet weighs about 2/3 of a pound. I can see I'm not getting anywhere, so I take the halibut.

Now, I'm not usually one to complain, but with all the people behind me, I decide to tell the manager working the register about her. "Your girl working the meat counter doesn't know what she's doing. She seems to have no concept of weights."

His reply, "Oh. I think she's retarded. Here comes the meat guy now."

No Parking at the Airport!

OK, so we just got back from a trip to North Carolina. The trip was great, the parking was terrible. We arrived at John Wayne Airport with plenty of time to park in the economy lot and get the shuttle over to the airport and still be at the counter over an hour early. As we turn left into the parking lot, we see cones in front of the entrance and a bunch of cars parked outside the gates. What the hell??? I figured that it filled up with other cheapskates like us, so we proceeded to the lots next to the terminal.

They are all full. They weren't just normally full as in we had to drive around for a while to fine a place. They were COMPLETELY FULL!! People had parked in all the red zones and anywhere they could leave their cars without getting them hit. So we asked the parking attendant if he had any ideas (keep in mind that there are no independent pay lots around this airport). All the guy could say was, "try the lot on Main [the economy lot]." We explained that it was blocked off by cones. He just kept repeating himself, "Main Street lot." IDIOT!!!

So that's when I got the brilliant idea of Michael parking at his office which is 10 minutes away adn getting of the people there to drive him back to the airport while I went in and checked our baggage since we already checked in online. That all worked smoothly. The guy was all too happy to leave work for a bit and we got through security on time. So are we the fools? We should have been doing this all time! Free parking. But now we're probably moving soon and won't be able to take advantage.

But, really, what the hell kind of airport RUNS OUT OF PARKING!!!???!!!